The whole kit & doodle!

Legacy of an adopted child

For years I've seen this poem floating around the internet always attributed to "author unknown." It drives me insane. And no, I didn't write it. But I remember the first time I saw it in print, in "Teen" Magazine, back in the early 1980's in their "Poetry Corner." I kept a copy of the poem for years and there most definitely was an author. I believe her name was Peggy or Patty. One of these days I am going to find an old copy of the magazine and find out for sure. The author was another adopted teen who submitted her poem to the magazine. The other thing that bugs me is that it's often misquoted. I've had this poem embedded in my heart for over 20 years.

I want that woman to know that I have not forgotten what she wrote and I haven't forgotten her.

Legacy of an adopted child

Once there were two women who never knew each other
One you do not remember, the other you call mother.

Two different lives shaped to make yours one
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.

The first gave you life, the second taught you to live it
The first gave you a need for Love, the second was there to give it.

One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name
One gave you the seed for talent, the other gave you an aim.

One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears
One saw your first smile, the other dried your tears.

One gave you up, it was all that she could do
The other prayed for a child and was led straight to you.

And now you ask me through your tears
the age old question through the years,

"Heredity or environment, which am I the product of?"

Neither my darling, neither,
Just two different kinds of Love.


December 7, 2005 - Posted by | Adoption Void


  1. My name is Penny. I wrote this in 1984. I won an award for it in Indianapolis when I was fifteen. I wrote it for my best friend who was adopted. I never knew it would take off like it did. I never expected to be an author unknown. Because I was a troubled teen I don’t know if anyone even believes I wrote it.

    Comment by Penny | March 10, 2008 | Reply

    • Hi Penny,

      I just wanted to say my search is over on who wrote this poem. It is awesome. I have it framed and displayed in my bedroom. I along with my twin brother John was adopted at age 5. It was the best decision for my life to share my life with my parents. I read this at my adopted mother’s funeral. Everyone loved it and I will always keep it close to my heart. Thank you. Janet Mancini

      Comment by Janet Mancini | July 25, 2010 | Reply

    • Dear Penny,
      In 1970 I gave birth to a baby girl, her father & I lost touch with each other before she was born, I gave her up for adoption when she was 5 days old (she never went home with me). Life goes on, I got married & divorced, never had another child. I moved 1000 miles away from that area, in 1997 I did get that Very special call, from You know Who—Her—-my daughter, after 27 years I shared your poem with her, I had it for all those years (early 1980’s), you will never know how TRUE those words Ring in our ears. The first letter I recieved from her I saw my Mothers handwriting, in her letter.
      What insight you had as a child yourself, God Bless

      Comment by Freda | February 15, 2012 | Reply

    • Dear Penny, Thank you very much for your beautiful poem. I am writing a book on parenting for troubled children and wonder if you would mind the poem being quoted. Over the years there has been a big debate on nature v nurture. Recent research confirms that it is neither one or other that determine who we are, but it is how the two interactive together – our inherited tendencies and our experiences in the environment we grow up in. Your poem captures this so well.

      Best Wishes

      Patrick Tomlinson

      Comment by Patrick Tomlinson | May 1, 2012 | Reply

    • Penny, I am writing a book on The Children’s Home I came from at 5 years of age. I was then adopted in 1958. My birthmother placed my twin brother John and I there in June of 1957, she died a few days later. I have had a wonderful life thanks to my birthmother who gave me up and my adopted parents who loved me more then themselves. I wanted to ask your permission to quote your poem in my book. Could you please let me know soon?
      Thank you so much,

      Comment by jlm12 | May 1, 2012 | Reply

    • Penny, I have this on my wall in my home and have had it for years. It was sent to me by my MOM! Ironically I have been searching for family members for a few years and found out in 2006 that my birth name was Penelope// Penny for short! How ironic. I am 54 yrs old and I think this is such a great poem. I hope that someday you will be named as the author !

      Comment by Stephanie | May 10, 2012 | Reply

    • Penny …. please send me your name and email address … Thanks, Celeste Billhartz – cbsongs@aol.com

      Comment by Celeste Billhartz | July 2, 2012 | Reply

      • Here’s my email address that you requested.

        Comment by Janet L. Mancini | July 2, 2012

    • Long shot, did you give up a child for adoption in 1985? Please respond.

      Comment by Chance durley | October 7, 2015 | Reply

  2. […] probably the most important comment ever left on my blog.  It is the comment left on this post – Legacy of an adopted child – in March of this year.  I’m angry at myself that I did not pay close enough attention to […]

    Pingback by Legacy of an adopted child - Part III « Heartened | August 7, 2008 | Reply

  3. I gave my baby up 21 yrs ago. We met last yr. Now she wants this poem tatoo’ed on her side because we have had it since right before she was born. I thank you for this poem. I wasnt a troubled teen but couldnt take care of her and offer her a good life.

    This poem was perfect and her parents gave her a copy when she was younger. She has had it ever since.

    Thank you Penny for your poem

    jana wallace

    Comment by jana | September 18, 2008 | Reply

  4. I’m so glad that there is a name to go with this poem, I was adopted and I’ve always carried a copy of this poem around .. thank you penny for these workds that I have read all my life

    Comment by jane | May 5, 2009 | Reply

  5. Hi, when I was 21 my two little ones were taken from me. I never saw them again. I’am 60 now, and I the Good Lord blessed me with a little baby boy. He’s 23 now and I’ve never denied him the right to see his natural mother. You can guess why. We’ve been the best of friends all these years. I’ve started to cry so I’ll say good bye and Good Bless. Lou

    Comment by Lou | July 26, 2010 | Reply

  6. Thank you to Janet for finding Penny and thank you Penny for finding the words to validate both mothers. You deserve that award and this recognition 10 fold.

    Comment by TEJAD's MOM | November 15, 2010 | Reply

  7. Thirteen years ag0 I gave up a child. It was the best ch0ice f0r every0ne at the time. I came acr0ss this as a print f0r sale in a catal0g, I cut it 0ut and have carried it in my wallet ever since. I believe it is true…f0r a 15 year 0ld y0u were very wise! G0D BLESS!!!!!

    Comment by Kathy | November 26, 2010 | Reply

  8. I love this poem so much. It means so much to me. I was adopted and one thing my birthmother left for me was a copy of this poem.

    Comment by Steffie | February 24, 2011 | Reply

    • Steffie,

      What a wonderful gift of this poem by your birth mother. This showed she loved you very very much.


      Comment by Janet L. Mancini | February 24, 2011 | Reply

  9. Penny your poem has carried me through alot of dark days. Thank you.

    Comment by ciara braswell | September 22, 2011 | Reply

  10. Hey Penny
    What is your last name? I want to use your beautyful poem for my study-paper…

    Comment by Nienke | December 7, 2011 | Reply

  11. Wow! I was adopted and my mother (adopted mom) cut this poem out of the newspaper for me when I was in elementary school. I just ran across it and googled… Even though I can repeat it by memory since it hung on my door for years. It is perfect! Thank you!! I’m 40 now and have been sharing it for so many years.

    Comment by Dennice | February 9, 2012 | Reply

  12. Dennice,

    Ditto on your comment. I have read it at my adopted Mother’s funeral to placing it on FB. IT explains it to a T. God Bless Penny for writing it.


    Comment by Janet Louise Mancini | February 15, 2012 | Reply

  13. List,

    My story was published on the internet in December 2011. . True Miracles With Genealogy author Anne Bradshaw, posted it. I thought it would be suitable to post it tonight.

    Roots Resolved


    This is only a small part of my story but thought you would enjoy it.

    Janet L. Mancini

    Comment by Janet Louise Mancini | February 16, 2012 | Reply

  14. Personally I don’t care who wrote this poem. My mom and birth-mother both enjoy. It was my birth-mother that gave it to me shortly after I found her. I shared it with my sisters, who were also adopted, and they also keep a copy of it.

    Comment by John Coleman | May 26, 2012 | Reply

  15. If the anonymous Penny who replied to this post in 2008 did indeed write this poem, she has to have her years quite mixed up. She could not have written it in 1984. The poem was circulating already in the lat4e 1970s and I actually tried very hard to find an author for it before publishing it in an anthology of adoption-related poetry Perspectives on a Grafted Tree: Thoughts for Those Touched by Adoption I compiled and published (Perspectives Press, Inc., 1981). I wish we could get these errors all corrected for those of us who continue to love this poem

    Comment by Pat Irwin Johnston | August 1, 2012 | Reply

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  17. I would like to Thank Penny for the poem. I read it in Teen Magazine when I was 16. I was adopted when I was an infant and your poem was truly a blessing at a time when I was trying to figure things out. I must admit I modified the poem to be from the adopted child to the birth mother to say THANK YOU !! As of this day 2/2013 I have not located my birth parents but with your permission I would like to take my modified version and one day have the opportunity to give it to my birth mother god willing.

    Comment by Sheree guastella | February 3, 2013 | Reply

  18. the mother that adopted my son june 3rd 2010 told be about this website and the poem i had 3 other children before him and i still have them but when i got pregnant with my 4th baby i knew i couldnt give him the life he desurved. I knew they could and the only way they would adopt him was if it was an open adoption se he would know both familys and when she told me about the poem you wrote i had to read it. It really helped me when i was going through a really hard time. I just want to say thank you and to let you know it touched my heart

    Comment by Diddeann hyder | February 10, 2013 | Reply

  19. Hello Penny, I just wanted to thank you for the poem also. I too read it in “Teen” and couldn’t remember the author. I placed a son for adoption in 1987 and I had my teacher write it in caligraphy on parchment. I gave it to the adoption agency to give to the mother of my son. I am hoping that she gave it to him. I also gave my mother a copy as the fact is, I am also an adopted child. Here is a really great spin,,,the agency that placed me with my mother, also placed my son with his, I didn’t find this out until I went in to do all the paperwork. the man that placed me with my mother recognized my mothers name. Anyway, I just wanted to say that your words are forever in my head and have gotten me through a lot. I just wanted to thank you.

    Comment by Alicia | March 4, 2013 | Reply

  20. Thanks Penny for the wonderful poem. I remember getting a copy of it when I chose adoption for my daughter. I still have this copy and she is 19 years old and we have been in contact for almost 11 months. One day I will pass this on to her.

    Comment by Jackie | May 20, 2013 | Reply

  21. I,too was adopted at a young age. I knew at yrs of age that I was adopted. I was asked at 16,18 and 20 yrs of age if I wanted my papers on my adoption. I always said no as to are my parents. When my Dad passed away in 1990 the first thing we found was my adoption papers. We found my birth mother in 1998 and found out I had 4 brothers ad 4 sisters.. When we met for the first time after 46 yrs, I told her that from me she had all my respect forever as she gave me a chance in life by giving someone else( my parents) someone to love where as she couldn’t back then. I LOVE HER FOR THAT. I carry the poem “Legacy of an Adopted Child” in my wallet. Also my wife wrote a poem–“MISSING LINK ” which is in a book of poetry in every Canadian university.

    Comment by William E. Baillie | September 2, 2013 | Reply

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