Heartened

The whole kit & doodle!

Ouch, that hurt

I'm sitting here waiting for my hair treatment to finish soaking in, and I started looking through threads on http://www.eboards4all.com/74706/ which is run by "Sunflower Bmom."

I come across a post, midway down the page – "Musician Dad Looking For Daughter," and my heart stops. Could it be? I remember that my old non-id said my birthfather was a musician – I've believed for years I inhereted my talent from him. Excitement builds. I click on the link.

404 File Not Found error.

There are dozens of these on that page. Seems like every post that "might" even possibly be for me – 404 File Not Found.

It was posted by some man named "Kevin" on 08/03/04

Ouch, that hurt. This is why hope and excitement are so dangerous. How can a stupid 404 File Not Found error hurt so damn much?

It's just not fair.

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January 13, 2006 - Posted by | Adoption Void

1 Comment »

  1. A wave back to you!

    I think that you and my son have many commonalities. He and I have spoken about trying to “protect one’s heart”. In early reunion, he mostly tried hard to have a really casual attitude about me – as though I didn’t really matter that much to him. And I think that is part of “protecting your heart” to not allow yourself to care too much about something or somebody.

    However, I think extending your heart enough to someone to risk a loving relationship is a risk worth taking. Not indiscriminately, but…

    As he’s learned to trust me though, I believe he has allowed himself to care about me more. It’s like he knows now than I am “worthy”, safe and that my love for him is unconditional. Hmm, unconditional love, is that an offer many can refuse?

    Hugs,

    Cookie

    I think that you are handling this whole deal in a really smart way.

    Comment by Cookie | January 13, 2006 | Reply


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