Heartened

The whole kit & doodle!

Family Reunion

So by this time tomorrow, I’ll be on the road heading to Virginia to meet the rest of my bio family.  The closer I get to departure, the more nervous I get.  My poor husband doesn’t know what to do with all this nervous energy I’m spreading all over the place. LOL  I’ve got most of the suitcases packed or ready to be packed.  I’ve got everything ready for being able to run my laptop (to watch DVD’s) in the car.  I’ve got my CD case jammed packed with music for the trip.  Hubby is finishing up a last bit of laundry, some of which is going with us.  He’s got the litter box cleaned and ready for our friend who will be coming to take care of the cats while we’re gone.  I have blank CD’s and photo paper to go with my laptop and two printers/scanner, so I can make copies of photos my family has.  I’ve even got a little bag packed with crayons, coloring books and sticker books for our Aunt Jo to play with at the reunion.  I’m excited about meeting her!
I have all the water and organic sugar-free, caffeine-free soda ready for the cooler so I don’t have to worry about finding things I can drink on the road.

I don’t think I can be any more “physically” ready for this.

Emotionally, well, that’s something else entirely.  Much love flowing out to my friend Steph who understands some of my fears about next this trip and is just a phone call away if I get overwhelmed.  Thanks, Steph – you’ve no idea what a difference that’s made for me.  Or maybe you do. 🙂

Shortly after we get back (the first weekend of July) we’ll be moving into our new house – so it just seems like there is so much exciting/scary stuff happening all at once.  It’s a little overwhelming and just a bit breathtaking. 

One thing I’m so grateful for is that I’ve already met my sister R a few weeks ago when she and her hubby flew up here to visit.  Knowing her adds a measure of reassurance to this whole thing.  But Sunday, the day of the reunion, is looming kind of large on my horizon.  That’s when I’ll be immersed in dozens of people to whom I am closely related.  It’s a daunting prospect.  I’m not nearly as scared about whether they’ll like me or not as I am scared of the emotions this experience might be stirred up.  I’m questioning whether or not I managed to convince myself that I was “fine” with the whole adoption thing – and will learn instead that I’m not as fine as I thought. 

I’ll try and log on a few evenings during the week and blog about how things are going and anything I may be feeling – but I’m not making any promises.  My niece wanted me to come stay at my sisters’ house and sleep in her room, but I felt more comfortable getting a hotel room – not because I’m worried about being in “a stranger’s” house, that’s not it at all.  It’s totally because I feel like I need to have a safe quiet space available for me to retreat to if I feel the need.  I don’t expect to feel the need, but… -shrug- I want to be prepared.

Wish me luck – this is one of the scariest things I’ve ever done.  And that’s saying a lot.

June 8, 2006 Posted by | General | 18 Comments