Heartened

The whole kit & doodle!

Family Reunion

So by this time tomorrow, I’ll be on the road heading to Virginia to meet the rest of my bio family.  The closer I get to departure, the more nervous I get.  My poor husband doesn’t know what to do with all this nervous energy I’m spreading all over the place. LOL  I’ve got most of the suitcases packed or ready to be packed.  I’ve got everything ready for being able to run my laptop (to watch DVD’s) in the car.  I’ve got my CD case jammed packed with music for the trip.  Hubby is finishing up a last bit of laundry, some of which is going with us.  He’s got the litter box cleaned and ready for our friend who will be coming to take care of the cats while we’re gone.  I have blank CD’s and photo paper to go with my laptop and two printers/scanner, so I can make copies of photos my family has.  I’ve even got a little bag packed with crayons, coloring books and sticker books for our Aunt Jo to play with at the reunion.  I’m excited about meeting her!
I have all the water and organic sugar-free, caffeine-free soda ready for the cooler so I don’t have to worry about finding things I can drink on the road.

I don’t think I can be any more “physically” ready for this.

Emotionally, well, that’s something else entirely.  Much love flowing out to my friend Steph who understands some of my fears about next this trip and is just a phone call away if I get overwhelmed.  Thanks, Steph – you’ve no idea what a difference that’s made for me.  Or maybe you do. 🙂

Shortly after we get back (the first weekend of July) we’ll be moving into our new house – so it just seems like there is so much exciting/scary stuff happening all at once.  It’s a little overwhelming and just a bit breathtaking. 

One thing I’m so grateful for is that I’ve already met my sister R a few weeks ago when she and her hubby flew up here to visit.  Knowing her adds a measure of reassurance to this whole thing.  But Sunday, the day of the reunion, is looming kind of large on my horizon.  That’s when I’ll be immersed in dozens of people to whom I am closely related.  It’s a daunting prospect.  I’m not nearly as scared about whether they’ll like me or not as I am scared of the emotions this experience might be stirred up.  I’m questioning whether or not I managed to convince myself that I was “fine” with the whole adoption thing – and will learn instead that I’m not as fine as I thought. 

I’ll try and log on a few evenings during the week and blog about how things are going and anything I may be feeling – but I’m not making any promises.  My niece wanted me to come stay at my sisters’ house and sleep in her room, but I felt more comfortable getting a hotel room – not because I’m worried about being in “a stranger’s” house, that’s not it at all.  It’s totally because I feel like I need to have a safe quiet space available for me to retreat to if I feel the need.  I don’t expect to feel the need, but… -shrug- I want to be prepared.

Wish me luck – this is one of the scariest things I’ve ever done.  And that’s saying a lot.

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June 8, 2006 - Posted by | General

18 Comments »

  1. Hi Heartened,

    I just wanted some clarification, i’m not going to argue, I promise… I’ve seen the error of my ways…

    I’m so sorry to come to your blog for this, but I can’t access SoA anymore… This morning I noticed all the posts in Clearing the Air about Mary.. I wrote a post in the thread she started… I wasn’t mean, and in fact some people said much meaner things, but I was banned for this.

    Can you tell me if this is a permanent banning? I really love your site.. It’s awesome. Kate sent me a PM, but I couldn’t read it to know why I was banned, because I was banned before I could read it.

    Thank you

    Comment by MindyRambo | June 9, 2006 | Reply

  2. Oh Sorry, I was also wondering where I could sent a donation for the site?

    Comment by MindyRambo | June 9, 2006 | Reply

  3. Mindy, a email was sent to the hotmail account you had on record. Please check it there.

    Comment by wraith | June 10, 2006 | Reply

  4. As for the post, congrats Heartened, this is great!!

    Comment by wraith | June 10, 2006 | Reply

  5. Congratulations and good luck Heart! I just stumbled across your new blog – wondered if you’d given up blogging.

    Also congrats on how well Soul of Adoption is doing – you’re doing an amazing job!

    Have a wonderful visit with your newfound family.

    Hugs,

    Cookie

    Comment by Cookie | June 12, 2006 | Reply

  6. Congrats! I can’t help wondering how it’s going for you, since you haven’t posted in awhile.

    immersed in dozens of people to whom I am closely related.

    Yeah, that’s both the most sobering and exhilarating experience. I told myself that if they didn’t accept me, fine, at least I knew I had real relatives on this Earth. But in reality, I’m deeply hurt by their rejection of me. I had so secretly dared to hope that I could build a relationship, but that, alas, has proved to be a failure. I wish you the very best reuinion, and that everything builds positively for you.

    Comment by marie jarrell | June 13, 2006 | Reply

  7. HOLY CR*#!!!!! I was wondering where you went and now I can see how much you have had on your plate! How exciting!!!! You met your sister?!?!?!? Now off to meet the rest of your family, oh my girl I am soooooo HAPPY for you!!! Please post asap and I WANT PICTURES TOO!!!;o)
    When you get settled in your new home I hope we can catch up by phone because I want to hear about this reunion experience in your own sweet voice.

    Huge Hugs,
    Mia

    Comment by Mia | June 18, 2006 | Reply

  8. Way exciting. You know, I always ask myself WWJD — What would Jackie (Kennedy) do. I wondered how she always contained her emotions in the most dramatic of circumstances. I read somewhere that she would just not let herself feel until she was alone, and then it all came out.

    Comment by redbud | June 20, 2006 | Reply

  9. Hey Heartened,

    Is the website down this morning? I can’t reach the page, just curious. Thanks.

    Heather

    Comment by Heather | June 21, 2006 | Reply

  10. Glad to see Heather can’t get on either, I was starting to wonder if you hadn’t liked my answers to the 10 questions and had kicked me off…

    Waiting (not so) patiently to get my SOA fix!

    Comment by Sydney | June 21, 2006 | Reply

  11. I couldn’t get on SoA either! I hope all’s ok after yesterday’s turbulent postings….

    LauraP

    Comment by Laura | June 21, 2006 | Reply

  12. I tried to get on at 7 this morning and couldn’t. I believe Heart said she would post info here on her blog if there was ever a problem with the site. So hopefully, it will either be back up soon, or she will post here so we all know what’s going on.

    Comment by Denyse | June 21, 2006 | Reply

  13. Maybe we made her server go poof!

    I think i need a sponsor fot SofA Anonymous.

    Hey to H. and all.

    Comment by slippingirl | June 21, 2006 | Reply

  14. I’m missing my SoA fix this morning and all my friends. Sapph, if I can help in any way, please let me know.

    Kelley

    Comment by kelleymac | June 21, 2006 | Reply

  15. Oh no, what if someone with a vendetta hacked into the site? Wasn’t that one of the insults hurled yesterday 😉 Guess I have to have another cup of coffe.

    Comment by Shoshana | June 21, 2006 | Reply

  16. Well shucks. I’m glad it’s not just me. *LOL* I have been trying to get on for an hour or so with no luck. I’ve been trying all sorts of tricks to sneak in, to no avail. Why didn’t I think to check here earlier? Hahaha.

    Hey slippingirl, I would be your sponsor but obviously I need a sponsor myself.

    Maybe the universe decided we all needed a wee bit more chill time after yesterday. *LOL*

    Comment by Steph,.. (Bassette) | June 21, 2006 | Reply

  17. Hey Heartened,

    Not sure if you ever check these comments any more, but I’m trying to get in touch with you. Call me!

    Comment by Andy | November 29, 2007 | Reply


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